The Lighthouse Chapter 15

Chapter FIFTEEN:

AJ already had the phone arcing toward her ear before she checked the ID of the caller. She didn’t have the contact saved in her phone, and AJ hesitated.

“Can’t be Robin,” she murmured, but it also wasn’t Trevor, the assistant coach she’d been conversing with for the past twenty-five minutes. He’d promised her an exclusive quote from one of the top recruits coming to play baseball at the University of Miami, and AJ was not leaving the sports complex without it.

She’d been there for two hours already, and she’d learned to wait through hunger, heat, and hurting feet for the interview, the quote, or the picture.

The call went to voicemail while AJ wrestled with the decision to answer it. Just as well, she thought as she tossed her long, shiny, straight hair over her shoulder. She couldn’t be on the phone when Trevor did call back.

Part of her wanted to get the quote and get back to the office. She was replaceable on the local sports show she did during the nine and ten PM news, and she hadn’t been on the air for a week now.

AJ loved being in front of the camera, and she loved seeing herself on the screen. She loved reading comments about how pretty she was, but also how competent in the world of sports. She’d grown up an athlete, and she’d searched for a way to stay in the world as she neared the beginning of her senior year.

She’d been a good swimmer and soccer player, but she knew she wasn’t one of the elite.

Joel Shields had taught her that.

She shook the man out of her head once again, hating that he’d snuck back in. At the same time, every time someone said her name, she could be reminded of him. He’d been the one to suggest the change from AvaJane to AJ.

“It’s more masculine,” he’d said, his voice as clear to her now as it had been twenty-eight years ago.

Twenty-eight years. Why couldn’t she let go of that? She’d slept around well into her thirties, and she could let those men and the things they did go right down the drain. She hadn’t been able to commit to anyone, and she’d never been in love.

Until now.

But AJ wasn’t dwelling on Nathan right now either. Never mind that he’d barely called in the six days she’d been in Miami. Her chest tightened, one inch at a time as if someone had a vice and was twisting the screw one revolution at a time to make breathing more difficult for her.

Her phone rang again, and the shrill tone of it drove everyone and everything she didn’t want to think about out of her mind.

Finally.

The same unknown number. Annoyance made her ears ring, and she decided to simply answer and get it over with. Perhaps it would be Dante Matthews, the young man expected to sign with Miami next week.

“AJ Proctor,” she said, completely business-like.

“AJ,” a woman said. “It’s Alice.”

AJ silently pulled in a breath and spun away from the doors leading to the locker room, which she’d been watching almost without blinking.

Alice said nothing else, and she’d always made AJ feel like filling the silence. Not this time, AJ told herself. Alice had called her. She could say what she wanted.

“How are you?” Alice finally asked.

“Busy,” AJ said, trying to drive home the point. The truth was, as soon as she got this quote, she’d be free to work on the story. She could go to Five Island Cove, but she guarded that secret well, and she’d had no contact with any of the four women who had been her whole world once upon a time.

But once upon a time was a fairy tale, and AJ didn’t believe in those. Not anymore.

“I’m sure,” Alice said, her voice so proper. “Listen,” she said smoothly, and AJ had a feeling she’d had a lot of practice talking to people who didn’t want to talk to her. “I know there’s something keeping you from coming back to the islands. I understand that, probably more than you know.”

Something like static or scratching came through the line, and only a moment passed before AJ identified the sound. The beach. Waves coming ashore. Alice was standing on the beach somewhere, and AJ could almost feel the sea breeze on her own face.

“Why don’t you want to come back to Five Island Cove?”

“I told Robin this already.” AJ heaved a great sigh. “I don’t mourn Joel Shields.”

“Yes, I know that,” Alice said. “And it’s also not what I asked. I didn’t ask why you didn’t want to come to the funeral. I asked why you don’t want to come back to Five Island Cove.”

“I—” AJ’s mouth hung open, her mind racing through possible answers. Surely she had one that would appease Alice.

“I know you come back to see your dad,” Alice said. “You’ve even brought your boyfriend to see him. Or are you married to Nathan Cooke now?”

AJ’s smile was not made of happiness, but utter disbelief. “You know I didn’t get married.”

“Yes, of course I know that,” Alice said. “Because I would’ve gotten an invitation, and I would’ve been here on the island to celebrate with you.”

“What makes you think I’d get married on the island?”

“Because you’ve always wanted a beach wedding, on the beach that your father owns. Altar on the dock, right?” Alice gave a blissful sigh, the way she’d had when they were sixteen and talking about their dream weddings as they looked up into the night sky and counted the stars.

AJ could practically feel the slight wobble from the trampoline as Alice lifted her arm and said, “Right there, AJ. That’s the star you want.”

AJ could hear her laugh, and that had made the trampoline move even more. Robin hadn’t been able to come that night, because she’d been fighting with her mother something fierce about the length of the cheerleading skirt she was required to wear for the new squad she’d just made.

Jennifer Golden had a lot of opinions and a very loud bark. But in the end, Robin got her way. She’d worn the short skirt—up on top of the pyramid too, where all the boys could look right up the length of her legs.

“You think I want a star to stand guard over my marriage?”

Alice had turned her head and looked right into AJ’s eyes. “You don’t?”

“I guess.” She’d looked up at the stars again, the idea of having a soul mate written in the stars very romantic and appealing to AJ. Her experience with men up to that point had been that they liked sleeping with her and not much else.

Her father had brought home plenty of women over the years, and AJ had witnessed him not committing, not caring, not calling back afterward. He hadn’t liked her going around with boys, but he’d never taught her to respect herself. He’d taught her that women were for his pleasure, and AJ had liked the way she turned heads and got the boys to say how much they liked her.

Her mother wasn’t in the picture, and AJ still didn’t know where she was. She’d thought her mother would reach out to her when AJ left Five Island Cove, but it was a phone call she was still waiting to receive.

“AJ?” Alice asked in the present moment, and AJ pulled herself out of the past. Sometimes she preferred to live back then, when things were simpler. When she didn’t have to wonder why her own mother had abandoned her, and she didn’t have to wonder why Nathan couldn’t commit to her, and she didn’t have to wonder why she was never, ever good enough.

At sixteen, she was good enough, because the boys she slept with told her so—over and over.

At fifteen, she was good enough, because Robin and Alice told her so—every time they chose to spend time with her, despite her stealing all the boys from them.

At fourteen, she was good enough, because Kristen made her feel like a queen for learning to tie knots and sail a boat.

She’d been good enough for a few years, and then she’d started training with Joel.

“AJ?” Alice said again. “Did I lose you?”

“No,” she blurted out. “No, I’m still here.”

“We’re all here,” Alice said. “And I don’t blame you for not wanting to go to the funeral. I’m standing on the black sand beach on Rocky Ridge, and I wish you were here with me.”

Tears pricked AJ’s eyes, and she felt her face scrunch with emotion. “I wish that too, Alice.”

“Then come,” Alice said, and it sounded so simple.

AJ tilted her head back and looked up into the brilliant, blue sky above Miami. She didn’t want to admit it, but life was simpler in Five Island Cove too. At least hers had been. At least before Joel had started filling her head with lies about what kind of athlete she was and what her life could be if she just “applied herself.”

“I have something to tie up,” AJ said. “And then I’ll see where I am.” Her phone buzzed against her palm, and she checked it to see she had another call coming in, this one from Trevor. “I have another call, Alice. I’m sorry.”

She swiped over to Trevor’s call, stuffing her emotions as deep as she could. “Talk to me, Trevor,” she said.

“Five minutes,” he said, nearly under his breath. “West door.”

AJ swore and started moving. “You told me south.”

“We changed it twenty seconds ago,” he said, his voice filled with annoyance. “Why do you think I’m calling you?”

“Okay,” she started, but he’d already hung up. And AJ knew why he was calling her—the man owed her a favor, and this would bring them even. The agent didn’t like to be in anyone’s debt, and AJ didn’t blame him. She wouldn’t want someone to be able to call in a favor from her anytime they wanted. But she had helped him out of a sticky situation with his boss, and he had slept with her afterward. He hadn’t had to do that; they could’ve just disappeared into the hotel room so his boss wouldn’t think she could.

She broke into a run as she neared the corner of the building, because she couldn’t have this day be a waste. All the others had been, and AJ was tired of Miami.

She was tired of a lot of things, and she had the fleeting thought of abandoning her quest to get this quote, quit her job, and quickly return to the island where she’d been raised. She could find something to do there with her journalism degree. Or she could wait tables and make a killing during the summer months. Joel wasn’t there anymore, and she didn’t have to rush from the airport on Diamond Island to the ferry that would take her to Pearl so she wouldn’t run into him.

She’d just arrived at the west door into the building when it opened, and she hurried down the sidewalk, wishing she just had one moment to run her fingers through her hair and put on some more lipstick.

“Dante,” she said. “AJ Proctor from Southern Sports News. Have you signed with the University of Miami?”

He looked at Nathan, and Nathan gave one single nod. Then Dante put a smile on his face and stepped forward. “Nice to meet you AJ.”

Her skin crawled, because she knew what that smile meant, and this eighteen-year-old would be sorely disappointed when she walked away with her quote, and he didn’t get anything in return.

* * *

I’m going to Five Island Cove to see my friends.

AJ had expected Nathan to call after he received that text. She’d gone from the college to the airport, and she hadn’t booked a flight back to Atlanta and Nathan Cooke, her long-time, live-in boyfriend. He played football with the pro team there, and somehow she managed to call and text him when he was on the road. Once, she’d had a case of his favorite protein bars sent to his hotel in Los Angeles during one of his long road trips when he’d off-handedly texted that he couldn’t find the brand on the West coast.

She looked up from her phone, not wanting to see his response. She’d waited through security, through the hour outside the gate, through boarding before he’d finally responded.

She didn’t know for sure, but it felt like Nathan had waited to respond so she’d be in the air and wouldn’t get it until she landed in Five Island Cove.

Great, have fun.

No miss you, AJ.

Come home, AJ.

Do you have to go, AJ?

“Do you want a drink, ma’am?”

She glanced up at the flight attendant and nodded. “Red wine, please.” She did enjoy the benefits of flying first class, and she definitely needed alcohol in order to face her friends and apologizing for not being on the first plane out of Miami the moment she’d heard they were all there, waiting for her.