The Lighthouse Chapter 11

Chapter ELEVEN:

Now that Kelli had arrived on Diamond Island, some of her anxiety had ebbed into the ocean waves that flowed forward and pulled back. Flowed forward and pulled back, ebbing back into the giant body of water, where they were swallowed up.

She wanted her anxiety to be like that too, and she’d taken an extra anti-anxiety pill that morning before boarding the plane. Leaving Parker with Julian had been hard, as Kelli hadn’t left her son overnight ever. She hadn’t started at the gym until Parker had gone to kindergarten, and she only worked while he was at school. She wanted to be there for him any time he needed her, and after she’d talked to Julian, they’d decided she should come to help Kristen and stay for the funeral.

In all, she’d be in Five Island Cove for eleven days, and she wasn’t even sure how to survive the next eleven minutes.

“Does your mom know you’re here?” Alice asked, stepping back to beam down at Kelli. Growing up, she’d hated being the shortest girl in their class. She’d complained about it more than anything else, but her mom told her that, at five-foot-one, she could carry a baby. Get married. Live a good life.

Kelli didn’t care about living a good life when she was fifteen. She wanted to have all the boys admire her the way they had AJ, who had legs as long as Kelli was tall. She knew now that the things her teenage self had wanted bordered on ridiculous, and yet, some of those feelings she’d had as a teenager had formed who she was, the decisions she’d made following high school and in adulthood, and had almost kept her from coming for this funeral.

“Not yet,” she said to Alice as she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. She didn’t need to hide from Alice. In fact, she wanted Alice to see her, and she looked at the woman in front of her, hardly recognizing her.

But when Alice smiled, the girl she’d been emerged, and that girl had been fun, kind, and an absolute anchor in Kelli’s life when she’d been floundering.

“Are you going to tell her?” Alice asked, her light brown eyes growing serious.

Kelli shrugged and looked around the tiny house where Robin had directed her. Kelli had been to the lighthouse, of course. Not for years, but the memories had swelled to the back of her throat the moment she’d seen the iconic landmark through the tiny window on the airplane.

“Well, maybe the ferry between here and Bell is broken down,” Alice said, draping her arm around Kelli and turning back to the others. A twinge of nervousness flowed through her, because in her house, everything had a place, and there was a place for everything.

The room looked like a bomb filled with paper had gone off, spewing slips of various sizes and colors everywhere. And then someone had plunked down a couch and called it a living room.

“It’s a little chaotic right now,” Robin said, stepping around the shredder and giving Kelli another hug. “I’m so happy you’re here.” When she stepped back, tears shone in her eyes. She shook her head and waved her hands like she was being silly. “Someone take over and fill her in.”

“Can’t we wait until we have a lot of carbs in front of us?” Eloise asked. She’d hugged Kelli too, and she’d definitely felt something strange from the dark-haired beauty Kelli had envied in high school.

“Fill me in on what?” Kelli’s skin itched just thinking about touching anything in the room.

“We’re going through Joel’s things,” Alice said. “He wrote a lot of stuff down, and some of it is gibberish that only meant something to him. We’re recycling that.” She indicated the bin blocking the entrance to the kitchen. “I’ve been shredding anything with financial information or personal information. Kristen wants to look at the journals to see if she wants to keep them.”

The world spun strangely, and Kelli felt underdressed though that was ridiculous. Anyone would feel underdressed beside Alice, who wore a pair of gray linen slacks with a purple blouse with thick straps that ran over her shoulders.

Eloise sighed and pushed her hair off her forehead. She wore a simple pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a giant square with some letters in it, like an element symbol, but Kelli didn’t know which one. Robin wore leggings, which accentuated her trim legs, and Kristen wore what Kelli had always seen her wear: a simple blouse with either flowers or stripes or some other pattern with a pair of plain pants.

On Sundays, she wore sweats, and she had special Sunday sweat suits in a variety of colors. Kelli had sometimes come to the lighthouse on Sundays just to see which color Kristen would be wearing.

Then she’d bake filled raisin cookies, and they’d go up to the deck, and Kelli could just breathe.

“Do you want to come work with me in the office?” Alice asked, and Kelli nodded. She followed the friend who had shown Kelli how to be strong into the office, shocked there was more to go through in here.

“Holy cow,” Kelli said. “I didn’t realize Joel had all of this.” She gazed around, the walls pressing in on her, getting closer, ever closer. She took a deep breath and commanded them to stay where they were. If there wasn’t a bookcase lining three of the walls, filled from top to bottom and front to back with books and who knew what else, the room would feel huge.

“Are you still teaching aerobics?” Alice asked, drawing Kelli to where she stood at the desk, flipping open folders.

“Yes,” Kelli said, taking another deep breath. “A few days each week. They want me to do more, but I’m okay with just a few days a week.”

Alice glanced up. “Yeah? Julian’s doing okay?”

“Yeah,” Kelli said, aware her voice had pitched up. “The courier business is going well, and he even said he’d take Parker so I could come here.”

Alice didn’t stop in her examination of the documents in the folders. Kelli marveled at that, because her mother would’ve paused and said it wasn’t normal for Kelli to be so attached to her son.

But her mother hadn’t had a problem getting pregnant, and her mother had never been told she’d never have another child. Parker was all Kelli would ever get, and it wasn’t wrong for a mother to be devoted to her child.

“That’s great,” Alice said. “They must like you at the gym.”

“Oh, my routines aren’t anything fancy,” Kelli said. “But the ladies like me, because I’m overweight.”

Alice scoffed and twisted toward her. “Kel, you are not.”

“I’m not model tall and thin,” she said. “They like that.”

“I’m sure you’re a rock star.”

Kelli burst out laughing. “Okay, never say that again, Alice.”

Alice giggled and reached into the drawer to extract more files. “Right. I’m too old for that.” She grinned at her and added, “My teens are always telling me what not to say.”

“I can’t wait for that,” she said, finally taking a step into the office. “All right. Put me to work.”

* * *

Kelli basked in the energy of the downtown area on the island of Diamond Island. It wasn’t full summer season yet, when the island would really be hopping, but many of the seasonal shops had opened already.

“There’s a farmer’s market on Wednesdays in the fall,” Robin said. Tonight, the square where the market would be sat empty, but Kelli still loved the older buildings, the cobbled crosswalks, and the charming, narrow streets.

The women had parked in a paid lot a couple of blocks away, and Robin had been narrating all of the changes that had taken place in the downtown area as if Kelli and the others hadn’t ever been here before.

For Kelli, she hadn’t been down these streets in many long years, and she didn’t mind the audio tour in Robin’s voice. No one else said anything about it either, but Alice and Eloise both just burst out with the things they saw, with stories of things they’d done together at the crystal shop, where they sold an array of essential oils as well, or the drug store where AJ had once stolen an entire box of gum that she’d hid in Kelli’s backpack for a few days before showing it to anyone.

“Look at that dog boutique,” Eloise said. “Can we go in?” She wore excitement in her eyes, the hope filling the air around them.

“You have cats,” Robin said.

“They’ll have cat stuff.”

“No, I don’t think they do,” Alice said. “It’s called The Dog Spot.” She trilled out a laugh which caused Kelli to smile.

“That seems unfair,” Eloise said, deflating slightly. “Do they have a Cat Spot?”

“Not that I’ve seen,” Kelli said. “Honestly, Eloise, people don’t really dress up their cats.”

“Well, they should,” she said.

“Do you?” Kelli asked. “Put little BU sweaters on your cats?”

Eloise met her eye, surprise in her expression, and then they laughed together. Kelli nudged Eloise with her hip, and they giggled together as they continued down the street. “I’m going to take that as a no,” Kelli said, feeling so…free. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t felt this way before, or why she’d had so many reservations about returning to this island.

She shouldn’t have been worried, not with these people here, waiting to welcome her home with such open arms.

“Here we are,” Robin announced, and she opened the door to the crab shack and held it for everyone else to walk through.

Kelli followed Alice inside, the scent of butter and salt calling to her soul. The music was just as she remembered, as were the red-and-white checkered tablecloths and the giant crab-shaped clock on the wall.

“Four, ladies?” a man asked, already getting the menus.

“Yes,” Alice said, and they followed him to a table against the wall. Kelli didn’t need the menu, as it hadn’t changed in years, and the moment they sat down, a huge group came into the restaurant. Relief hit Kelli for a reason she couldn’t name. It wasn’t like Mort’s would run out of crabs.

“Okay, dinner at Mort’s,” Eloise said. “New Truth.”

“No,” Alice said, waving her hands. “No, we’re not doing New Truth.”

“Come on, Alice,” Eloise said at the same time Robin said, “I don’t have a New Truth.”

“I’m sure you can think of something,” Kelli said, finding her place in the group. For some reason, she’d thought she wouldn’t be safe here, and she’d never been more wrong. “I’ll go first.” She scooted closer to the table and sat up straighter. “New Truth: I’m scared that while I’m here, something will happen to Parker.”

“Kelli—”

“Rules,” she said, glaring at Robin. There were no reassurances during the New Truth game.

“Fine, I’ll go next,” Alice said. She ran her hand through her hair and looked at each woman at the table. “I might need to think more seriously about a divorce.”

Shock moved through Kelli, and her first instinct was to reach out and take Alice’s hand in hers. Her eyes burned with an intensity she’d seen before when another girl in their class had told Alice she was such a bad singer she’d never make it into the musical.

Alice had practiced and practiced, and when she’d auditioned for the school musical, she not only made it, but she’d been cast in a leading role. Kelli had seen this same strength and determination in Alice’s eyes then as she did now.

“I’m up,” Eloise said. “After finding out about the test scores, I’m considering a career change.”

“Okay, forget the rules,” Robin said. “Eloise, no. That’s just crazy talking right there. I’m sorry, you know I love you, but no. You’re an amazing professor, and what happened thirty years ago does not matter.” She clapped one hand flat against the table and looked at Alice. “You do what you think is right, Alice, but there will literally be a place at my house if you find you need it. I don’t know everything about you and Frank, but from what I’ve heard in just the last couple of days, I would support a divorce.” She leaned toward Kelli, her blue eyes blazing with hot heat. “And I understand where you’re coming from Kelli. I do. I wish I could take that feeling from you, but I know I can’t. But I do know you can text any of us, and we’ll help you however we can.”

Kelli nodded. “Fair enough. But you can’t break the rule of sharing. So think of something.”

Robin shook her head. “I really have nothing.”

“Oh, come on,” Alice said. “Would you like me to share about what I heard on the phone this morning with Duke?”

Robin looked like she’d been hit with a hammer. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“New Truth,” Eloise said, starting a slow slap on the table. “New Truth.”

Kelli joined in, laughing between the words.

Robin finally rolled her eyes, but Kelli could see the New Truth was causing her some difficulty. “Fine, fine,” she said, and the chanting stopped. She glared at Alice, and Kelli wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that look.

“Duke wants to leave Five Island Cove and move to Alaska.”

“Alaska?” Eloise asked, her voice mostly a gasp. “You’ll die up there, Robin.”

“Yeah, well.” She shrugged and looked up as a waiter arrived. They put in their orders for the soft-shelled crabs and lobster they shared every time they came to Mort’s. Once the waiter was gone, Kelli looked at the other women.

“Do we have enough carbs for you guys to fill me in?” She looked at Eloise. “You said something about test scores.”

“Robin,” Eloise said, and Robin once again acted as the voice to tell the story about the secrets they’d been uncovering since Joel’s death.

“He cheated on Kristen?” Kelli could not believe that. “For real?”

“I mean, the sentence was erased on the letter,” Robin said. “But it was visible.”

Kelli could not imagine finding out her husband had cheated on her. An intense betrayal burned through her on Kristen’s behalf, and she couldn’t shake it away.

Their seafood arrived, and Kelli tucked into a lobster claw while Robin explained about Eloise’s test scores.

“Unbelievable,” Kelli said. “What else?”

“Nothing so far,” Robin said. “Thank goodness.”

“Actually,” Alice said, putting down her fork. She hadn’t put a bib on to eat either, and yet she didn’t have a drop of butter on her blouse. Everything about Alice was prim and proper and put in precisely the right place.

“Actually?” Robin asked, practically shrieking.

Alice took her time, as she’d always had a bit of a flair for the dramatic, to reach into her pocket and pull out a folded piece of paper. “I found this today, in Joel’s office.” She started to unfold it. “It was in a folder with my mother’s name on it.”

“Your mother?” Robin said, all food forgotten now. She leaned across the table, toward Alice, who wore a mask of stone. Kelli wasn’t sure how she caged all the emotions behind such passivity.

Kelli’s heart beat against her ribs, because she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what was on that paper, not after hearing the amazing stories about Eloise’s test scores and Kristen’s letter. How many secrets did Joel have?

The music fell away until only Alice and that single sheet of paper remained. “I think I know who Joel cheated with,” she said. “And I know why my mother went out into the storm that killed her.”

“Why?” Eloise asked.

Alice finished smoothing the paper on the table in front of her and nodded to it. She was still cold, emotionless, and Kelli couldn’t believe it. “She died on a Wednesday night—the day of the week Kristen worked at the community center with us girls.”

She drew in a breath, the first visible sign that Alice had true feelings. “She was going to meet Joel. She was his mistress.”