Second Chance Ranch Chapter 27

Chapter TWENTY-SEVEN:

Squire slid onto the pew next to Kelly, his hand finding hers easily. He managed to squeeze once before Finn climbed into his lap, talking fast about Buster and how he’d fetched a stick that morning.

Squire hadn’t gotten out of bed until nearly nine, which was three hours later than usual. He hadn’t been able to sleep last night, the sound of those fireworks still echoing in his head, his heart, his soul. A shudder rolled through his shoulders, vibrating the little boy and drawing Kelly’s attention.

At that moment, with her examining him, he felt stretched too thin. Too thin like healing skin over a wound. Too thin like plastic wrap about to break. Once that happened, the truth would spill out and stain everything.

She patted his knee just as the organ began. “Finn, baby,” she whispered. “It’s time to be quiet.”

The little boy didn’t stop talking, but he did move his voice to a whisper. Squire smiled mostly to himself as he ducked his head to keep listening to Finn detail how his grandma wouldn’t let him have ice cream for breakfast, but that he was going to build another sundae later, after church.

Thankful he couldn’t blurt out that he’d gotten into his DMV program, Squire squeezed Finn in a whole-body hug and then focused his attention on the pulpit. 

He trusted Kelly. He just didn’t see a point in causing waves until they found the money. He’d started looking into what a GI Bill would and wouldn’t pay for, and it sure seemed like he’d be eligible. He’d have to stay in the Army Reserves, which he could do, though he wasn’t thrilled about that option.

No matter what, it was an option, and as Pastor Jensen started talking, Squire knew he’d be leaving Three Rivers in the fall whether he and Kelly found the missing one-point-six million dollars or not.

You might as well tell her, he told himself. His parents would continue to draw some money from the ranch as retirement, and as he failed to listen to the pastor, Squire knew there was nothing holding him back but himself. His mind yelled at him to come clean with Kelly, and fast.

Before he knew it, Finn sagged against his chest, and Squire adjusted the boy so he could sleep comfortably. He looked down at the child, so much love filling him. Over and over it swept through him, until Squire couldn’t make sense of it. 

He was the youngest of only two children, and he’d literally never watched another child for longer than a few minutes. He did have to take care of his men in the Army, but they weren’t anything like cute five-year-old boys. 

He looked over to Kelly, who gave him a soft smile, her gaze moving to her son. It lingered there, and Squire looked away just as she raised her eyes again, something profound growing between them.

To him, it felt like they could easily merge their three lives and make a family. That felt intimate and daunting, despite Squire’s willingness to try, and he didn’t want to see the emotion in Kelly’s eyes quite yet.

He still struggled to listen to the pastor, because Squire already felt like he knew what he wanted, and what he needed to do to get it. The Lord may not have answered his prayers with explicit words, but he’d always had strong feelings that directed his actions, his whole life.

Before he knew it, the organ began to play again, and he transferred Finn to Kelly’s arms as she took him. He stood and sang the closing hymn while Kelly cradled her son, and after the ending prayer, he turned to help her.

“Interesting sermon today,” Kelly said, looking up at him.

He didn’t want to blurt out all he’d been doing in private, all the inner workings of his mind. So he said, “Yeah,” hoping she’d just talk and talk and talk, using her pretty voice to paint beautiful pictures of mercy and love and forgiveness.

“Mama,” Finn said, his eyes not so sleepy anymore. “Is it over?”

“Of course it is,” she said disdainfully. “Right when you wake up and want to play, what do you know?” She grinned at him, and Squire couldn’t help chuckling too. 

“You want to go home, or to the picnic?” she asked Finn.

“Picnic!” He wiggled free from her lap and charged down the aisle after his cousins, leaving Squire alone with Kelly in the pew. He seized the opportunity to hold her hand as they left the church. 

“I can spare some time for the picnic,” he said. “Though you didn’t ask me.” He nudged her with his hip, glad when she bumped him right back.

“I assumed it was implied,” she said. “Though you do look like you could use a nap this afternoon.”

“That I could,” he said. “But I already bummed my morning chores off on Tom, so I have to do all the evening stuff tonight.” 

“What does ‘evening stuff’ entail?” she asked. “Maybe Finn and I can come help.”

“Feeding,” he said. “The horses and chickens don’t really understand the Sabbath.” He grinned at her. “I’d love for you to come, but I don’t want you to have any panic attacks around the hens. Then they don’t lay good eggs.”

“Stop it,” she said, though she laughed too. Squire appreciated that he could tease her and she didn’t take herself—or him—too seriously. He was a serious man, but he could have fun too. 

“If it’s windy,” he said. “You two could fly a kite while I work, and then I’ll see if Pete will make us dinner. He’s a pretty good cook.”

“He’s functional in the kitchen,” Pete said as he joined them at the top of the stairs outside. “That’s what the Major means.”

“Better than me,” Squire said. “I mean, I can do a few things, but you’re better.” 

“Are you a good cook, Miss Kelly?” Pete asked. Tammy wasn’t with him today, and in fact, Squire hadn’t seen her at all yet. 

“I’m okay,” Kelly said. “I can read a recipe, and if I don’t have to make sure I’m not going to poison someone with raw chicken, I’m pretty good.”

Squire grinned at her and then Pete, feeling more complete than he had in a long, long time. Maybe ever. “Have you talked to Chelsea lately?” he asked as they stepped into the parking lot. “Are you driving with me? Meeting me over there?” He slowed his steps so they could plan their next move.

Kelly paused with him, frowning. “No, I haven’t spoken to Chelsea in a bit. How is she?”

“She’s….” Squire looked at Pete, but he wasn’t sure why. He hadn’t told anyone about Chelsea’s struggles. “You might just want to call her.” He cleared his throat. “Pete, are you goin’ to the picnic or over to the pancake house?”

“Pancake house.” He grinned. “Tammy said I could stay as long as I want, so maybe you can drop me there, go to the picnic, and then swing by and get me on the way back to the ranch?” He wore such hope in his green eyes, and Squire would never deny him hope.

“Sure,” he said. “I think you have your own car, so I’ll meet you over there.” He leaned down and brushed his lips along Kelly’s cheek, which only ignited a fiery desire to taste the right part of her face—her mouth.

“See you there,” she said, and Squire went with Pete to his truck. Thankfully, Pete didn’t have any questions or comments today, and Squire dropped him off at the pancake house without incident.

He parked around the block from the picnic, because all the close spots had already been taken. Several people were still walking down from the church, and Squire took a moment to smooth his hair under his cowboy hat before he dropped to the ground.

The scent of freshly baked bread and smoked meat hung in the air, and if there was anything better than an after-church picnic on the Sabbath Day in Texas, Squire had not experienced it yet.

The rolling blue sky overhead, dotted with big, puffy clouds. A breeze even accompanied today’s heat, making it bearable. He cut across the grass, glad to be in the shade of the big oak trees, and he arrived at Kelly’s side only a few minutes later.

She was Finn-less, and he looked around for the boy as his hand slid along his girlfriend’s hip. They simply belonged together, and Squire’s hands seemed to know exactly how to touch her without much thought from him. “Where’s Finn?”

“He ran off with Crystal and her boys,” she said, glancing around too. “Should we eat?”

“I’m starving,” he said, though he didn’t think potato salad and brisket would truly satisfy him. 

If he could’ve eaten with her hand in his, he would’ve. She fit into his life like she was made to be there. A trickle of apprehension prickled down his spine, but he ignored it. They were together for now.

It was the for now he disliked, and he needed to get it out of the way. He wanted Kelly forever, but he couldn’t imagine ruining such a gorgeous day with such a hard conversation.

So they ate. They laughed with her parents as Kelly told them about the rodeo clowns from the previous night. He nodded to his parents, especially his momma, when they went by. Her expression said so much, but all Squire knew was that if he didn’t find the money, he’d be letting them down.

If he didn’t talk to Kelly, he’d be letting her down. The situation around him felt like someone had thrown darts at him, nailing him to the wall. Each one was connected to a rope, and now, they were pulling him apart slowly. Ever so slowly, so that it hurt worse than anything he’d experienced before.

Life was supposed to be simpler now that he was home. But nothing about his life on the ranch and in Three Rivers felt simple right now.

When they finished eating, Squire’s appetite for Kelly had to be satiated. “I want to show you something.” He stood, gathered their plates, and made sure Finn was with Crystal before leading Kelly away from the crowd.

“Another well?”

“Not quite.” He ducked behind a large cypress tree, the trunk thick enough to conceal him from the dozens of eyes sitting at the tables. He tucked her against him, his hands heavy at the end of his arms as he placed them on her waist.

He couldn’t breathe without her this close all the time. Gazing at her, the smoky haze he’d been operating in since last night finally cleared. He smelled her cocoa butter lotion. The lines of concern around her eyes were crisp. He memorized the feel of her body next to his.

“Squire—”

He should tell her about Texas A&M right now. Instead, he slanted his mouth over hers and kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until she couldn’t seem to stand on her own. Until he heard Finn call for them. Until the ache in his soul sealed shut.

* * *

Squire pushed his fingers together, getting the gloves nice and seated, as he got out of the truck. Pete had driven today, so Squire could continue to research the GI Bill from the passenger seat.

Tom, Bennett, and Beau—all cowboys from Three Rivers Ranch—milled about too, having come with them. Kenny Stockton and Lawrence Collins had come with Clark and Ethan, and that made nine men Squire had brought from Three Rivers to Shiloh Ridge to help the Glovers get their fire line put in.

This summer had brought the heat, and that meant the fires would be coming soon enough. Sometimes the Panhandle saw snow too, and sometimes tornadoes. They didn’t enjoy quite the same mild, year-round niceness of the Coastal Bend of Texas, but Squire would rather live up here than down there. 

It wasn’t nearly as humid in Three Rivers, and he knew how to handle fires and tornadoes. The snow never stuck around for longer than a day or two, so he could handle that too.

“Squire,” Bear boomed, and Squire grinned with all he had as he watched the man come down the front steps of the homestead. Like the one at Three Rivers, the main house here at Shiloh Ridge Ranch was dozens of years old, but probably well taken-care of. The Glovers were generational ranchers, with twelve men and women in Squire’s generation ready to take over their huge operation here in the hills south of town.

“Hey.” Squire hugged Bear and received several hearty claps on the back from the older man. “I brought my guys. Men, this here is Bear Glover. He runs this place, and we’ll do whatever he says today.”

Bear grinned around at everyone, and Squire introduced them all. By the time Bear had shaken hands with everyone, his cousin, Ranger, and his brother, Cactus, had joined them. 

“Mother and Bishop are cooking for us today,” Bear said to everyone. “Everyone here on the ranch is on their way over.” As if summoned by his statement, another truck pulled up to the homestead from further down the road that ran north, then turned west before Squire couldn’t follow it anymore.

“My brother, Ward,” Ranger said. “And Ace.”

Ace couldn’t be more than twenty, but Squire shook his hand all the same. He had big, broad shoulders and he already wore gloves too. He had a quick smile, and he dashed for the house with a “I just have to talk to Bish for a second,” over his shoulder.

“Bishop will join us later,” Bear said, following Ace’s journey with his eyes. “Mister’s off the ranch, training for the rodeo, and the twins are helping their mother today.” 

Squire wasn’t sure they were out of high school yet either, so he simply nodded. Bear’s sister wore her hair pulled back, and while slight in the shoulder, he had no doubt Arizona could hold her own here on the ranch.

“You have a brother in the rodeo?” Ethan asked, and Bear nodded, his expression turning a touch cooler.

“I used to ride bulls,” Ethan said, and Squire was surprised his normal swagger didn’t rear its ugly head. But today, he seemed more introspective, more humble.

“You do okay?” Ranger asked.

“Yeah, okay,” Ethan said. “I’ve thought about goin’ back, from time to time.”

Squire zeroed in on him then, and Ethan met his eye. His smile filled his face. “Not right now or anything, boss.” He chuckled and shook his head. “The rodeo has a way of beating up a man and making him forget who he is.”

Bear hummed, his frown pulling his eyebrows down. “All right, well, here’s Judge and Preacher, so we’re ready.”

Squire turned toward Judge Glover, the man he’d gone to high school and graduated with. “Judge.” He laughed as he embraced the man. “How are you?”

“So great,” Judge said, also chuckling. “You’re back.”

“Been back for a little bit,” Squire said, and he reintroduced everyone, especially Pete, to Judge and Preacher. 

Then Bear said, “Cactus?” and the darker man took over from there. Squire got put with Cactus himself, as well as Judge and Pete, and that foursome helped him relax even more. He’d worked plenty around a ranch—his own and others—but he didn’t want to try to make small talk with Glovers he didn’t know today.

Now he didn’t have to.

Sweat poured down Squire’s face as he cleared dead brush along a fence line for Pete and Judge behind him to put up into the trailer they’d gone to empty.

Cactus worked ahead of him about fifteen feet, doing a lot of the major damage with a chainsaw, while Squire pulled it all out with a rake. His shoulders ached and his chest hitched, but he didn’t mind. This was good, honest work, and Squire never went to bed feeling useless after a day like today.

He caught up to Cactus, who’d stopped in the shade of a single huge tree, a few minutes later. Cactus indicated a cooler with his half-gone water bottle, and Squire wasted no time opening it to get his own drink.

He closed the lid and sat on the cooler, a sigh pulling through him. As he twisted the lid and drank, Cactus said, “You hear anything about your vet program?”

Squire nodded, the water slopping out of the side of his mouth. The cold liquid tasted like heaven, and since easily another dozen bottles waited in the cooler, he pulled off his cowboy hat and dumped the second half of the water over his head. 

He pushed it through his hair and then shook it all away before grinning at Cactus. Thankfully, the other man smiled too. “Hot today.”

“Yes, it is.” Squire took Cactus’s empty bottle and flattened it with his own. “And yes, I got in to Texas A&M. I start in the fall.”

“That’s amazing,” Cactus said, his gaze wandering further down the line. “When are you moving?”

“Late August,” Squire said, his stomach squirming with all the cold water. It growled for something to eat, and he wondered how much longer they’d be out here. Bear had said his mother was making lunch for everyone, and they’d left Three Rivers Ranch before the sun had risen.

“How long you got?” Cactus asked.

“Four years,” Squire said. “Can it be done faster?”

Cactus shook his head. “Probably not. If you can do it that fast, you’ll be lucky.” He offered another smile, but it didn’t stick for long. “We’ve just got about a half-mile left, and then we’ll be done and head in for lunch.” 

The growling of an engine met their ears, signaling the return of Pete and Judge. “Lazing around in the shade,” Pete joked as he jumped out of the back of the trailer. 

“Yeah.” Squire grinned at him. “That’s what we’ve been doing.” He nodded back the way he’d come. “You two missed so much.”

“Bear said to finish pulling it out,” Judge said as he reached over the tailgate of the trailer and lifted another rake. “He’s sending Ace and Ranger to pick up the debris, because they’re done on the south side.”

“Even better,” Cactus said. “My arms still feel like they’re vibrating, and I turned off that blasted saw twenty minutes ago.” He didn’t crack a smile at all this time, but Judge chuckled and shook his head.

“I’ll use the power tool,” Pete volunteered, and Squire wished he’d been faster on the uptake. 

“It’s yours,” Cactus said, and he went to get another tool out of the back of the trailer. “Let’s finish this, so we can work indoors for the rest of the day.”

“This is it?” Squire asked. “Nothing after lunch?”

“Nope,” Cactus said. “Bear’s ordered a line of fire retardant to be poured, but we won’t have to do that. Just needed the line cleared for it.”

“Nice,” Squire said. “Who does the fire retardant?”

“Payne’s Pest Control,” Judge and Cactus said together. “Martin has a plane that does fire maintenance,” Cactus added. “His daughter is flying with him now.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Squire said, struggling to come up with Martin Payne’s daughter’s name. He thought she was the same age as Kelly, and she’d likely know the woman’s name. “My controller handles all the pest control at my ranch.”

Cactus nodded, then stepped over to Pete to show him how to turn on the electric chainsaw. It fired up, and Pete’s grin with it. Squire laughed as his friend lifted it in the air like he’d never put it down again.

They got back to work, and Squire told himself he could do another half-mile. Then he’d collect his guys and head north again, where he’d ease his sore body into a hot shower and thank the Lord for good people in his community.

And maybe if he was lucky, he’d have an idea for how to tell Kelly about his acceptance before he saw her again. In fact, as he worked, he started to pray for exactly the right words he needed to convey his good news—and his true feelings her and his plans for their future together.