Second Chance Ranch Chapter 25

Chapter TWENTY-FIVE:

Squire stood in Kelly’s backyard, watching Finn and the other boys chase Buster. The chocolate lab had a cheery disposition, and he didn’t mind when five-year-old hands grabbed onto him and tried to pick him up.

Kelly, Crystal, and her mom cleaned up the dinner dishes and brought out a cake. As flames lit Kelly’s eyes, a twinge of guilt stole through him. He needed to tell her about his acceptance into the veterinarian program. Soon.

But not tonight. Tonight was about Finn, and Squire could see he wouldn’t be getting any time alone with Kelly. Certainly not long enough to have a serious conversation about their future.

So he sang Happy Birthday, and cheered, and ate cake and ice cream. He presented Finn with his gift—a Frisbee—and taught him how to throw it so Buster would learn to catch it. By the time dusk settled, Crystal and her husband started rounding up their kids.

After they left, Kelly’s dad took Buster and Finn and went inside. Her mom had gone in when Crystal left, and Squire wondered if maybe now was a good time to talk with Kelly.

But he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to ruin this perfect night with uncertainty and serious conversations.

“How’s Pete?” Kelly sighed as she sat down at the picnic table next to Squire.

A crease troubled Squire’s brow. “He’s all right.” Though he wasn’t sure if Pete really was okay. “Some of the boys were practicing their calf roping. Someone had a whip, and when it cracked, Pete freaked out.”

Squire had too, but not nearly to the same degree. There was just something about that sound that instantly brought a bright, white light to Squire’s mind. He had no idea what Pete saw or smelled, but he knew it transported him right back to the bombing.

Kelly’s hand landed on his knee, breaking him from the cage inside his mind. “You okay?”

The heat from her hand soaked through his jeans. “Yeah.”

“You disappeared.” Concern rode in her eyes. Those beautiful eyes Squire wanted to look into every day of his life. “I asked you twice without a response.”

“Sorry.” He didn’t know what else to add, because he wasn’t going to burden her with the images in his head. “Anyway, Pete should be okay. I got him out of the arena and into the house. My dad was talking to him when I left.” Squire took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. “Then I forgot the blasted puppy.” He chuckled at his own stupidity. “Had to go back for ‘im.”

Kelly moved her hand from his leg to curl it around his elbow. She leaned into him, and he felt like she was claiming him as hers. “Thanks for bringing him, and thanks for coming.”

“Nowhere I’d rather be.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, wondering if he could bring up another sensitive topic instead. 

Children. He sure liked Finn, and the little boy seemed to like him. With enough time and experience, maybe they could have the close father-son relationship the boy should have in his life. Squire would work hard for it, that was for certain.

“Miss Kelly?” he whispered.

“Mister Ackerman,” she whispered back.

He smiled at her Southern accent, at their formal way of speech. “Do you want more kids?”

She didn’t turn into him with surprise etched around her eyes. “Yeah,” she said with a soft sigh. “Yeah, I’d like more kids.”

“I think you’re a great mom,” he whispered next, his lips so close they touched her earlobe. It could’ve been his imagination, but Kelly definitely shivered.

“Thank you, Squire.” She did face him then. “You’re great with Finn too, you know.”

“He’s a great kid.” 

Kelly gave him a winning smile and touched her lips to his. Squire didn’t think anything would ever be better than kissing Kelly, and he sure took his sweet Texas time tonight. 

Then they sat watching the stars appear in the midnight blue sky, and Squire couldn’t work up the courage to mention his acceptance.

Not tonight, he told himself. Not after a kiss like that. 

But soon.

* * *

By the following week, Squire’s eyes blurred at the thought of looking at another piece of paper. He dutifully went to Kelly’s office, but at lunchtime, he escaped to the stables. He found Pete standing at Raven’s stall, feeding her foal sugar cubes from his palm. “Hey,” Squire called. “You want to go riding with me?”

“Yeah, sure. Haven’t been on a horse in a while though.”

“Today’s a great day to get back to it.” Squire pulled down a blanket and his saddle. The smell of leather and horse settled the raging river inside. They hadn’t found the money despite the mountain of paperwork that was nearly all sorted and categorized and computerized now. 

He was beginning to seriously doubt they ever would. It could be anywhere. Any bank. Any state or country. It could be spent. God. 

A hot poker jabbed his chest. It felt very much like abandoning hope.

“My gramps used to take me out bareback,” Pete said as he watched Squire saddle Juniper.

“How long’s it been?” Squire asked, retrieving more equipment for Pete. If he could keep his hands busy, maybe his mind wouldn’t go into overdrive. Maybe his panic wouldn’t take root.

He selected Peony, a sweet Quarter Horse who had sprinted her last race over a decade ago. The color of eggshells, Squire had taken it upon himself as a teenager to make sure she was always clean. Since returning home, he’d ridden Peony a few times, and she was the easiest mount at the ranch. Perfect for Pete’s first time back in the saddle.

“Too long,” Pete said. “Gramps died a few years ago, during my first deployment. I was able to visit his grave before I made my way here.”

Squire didn’t know what horrors haunted Pete’s mind, but by the way he stared out the open door of the stables, Squire knew it wasn’t good. “You guys had a horse ranch in Tennessee, right?” he asked, hoping to draw Pete back to the present.

“Not really a ranch,” Pete said. “It was a boarding stable. I got to work the horses a lot, but they weren’t ours.” His voice changed, and Squire looked over to him. 

“You lost it.”

“I was deployed,” Pete said. “My grandfather and my momma died in the same car accident. I had no intentions of returning and running the boarding stable. I couldn’t do anything anyway. The bank sold it, and the money’s tied up in the estate.”

“Will you get the estate?”

Pete shook his head. “No, I told Momma to donate it to her church.” He looked up, his green eyes brighter than before. “Can we talk about somethin’ else, Major?”

“Of course we can.” Squire finished saddling Peony. “These horses are ours. Some of them worked for a lot of years before they became riding horses. My daddy used to train them to cut.” 

He smiled at Peony. “She was a very good cattle horse, weren’t you, girl?” Peony simply looked at him with her half-closed eyes, like she’d never made naughty cattle obey. She had, and well.

“Let’s hit the range.” Squire too needed the freedom of the wide, open space. The quietness of the wind slinking through the grass. How clean the air smelled.

He needed the healing properties of the ranch he’d told Chelsea about. She still hadn’t confirmed that she’d come and live in the homestead once Momma and Daddy moved to town, and everything in Squire’s life felt like it was in a stalemate. A bad one.

He mounted Juniper and together, he and Pete set out. The steady clomping of the horses’ hooves almost lulled Squire to sleep.

“How long are you going to be off getting your veterinarian degree?” Pete asked, breaking the peaceful silence. Of course that was what he’d ask about.

“If I go, at least four years,” Squire said, the weight of being gone from Three Rivers for so long descending on him.

“By that frown, you don’t seem happy about it.”

“I am,” Squire said. “It’s just a long time to be away from the ranch. But if things work out, I know it’s the right thing for me.” He just didn’t know if things would ever work out. In his life, God usually threw a wrench or two at him, like the fact that Kelly had popped all of his balloons and not found the slip of paper with his name on it. 

“A long time away from the ranch?” Pete repeated. “Or a long time away from Kelly?”

“Both,” Squire said. “But she’s…not ready to be uprooted again.”

“You mean she’s not ready to get married again.”

“That too.” Squire shot his Army pal a sideways glance, wondering if he’d been spying on Kelly’s office. He’d mentioned marriage to her last week, and she’d admitted she hadn’t thought about it. 

On the sliding scale of where a relationship stood for each person, Squire was definitely further along than she was. That didn’t normally bother him, because he’d been behind some of his girlfriends too. 

But this summer, he simply didn’t have time to waste, and a clicking, ticking clock sounded extra-loud in his mind all day long.

“What about you?” he asked.

Pete refused to look at him, a classic avoidance move. “What about me?”

“You’re shoveling stalls for my dad. That’s what you want your life to be?”

Pete exhaled heavily. “I have no idea what I want my life to be.” He met Squire’s eyes. “How pathetic is that?” He raised his burnt arm. “I’d always thought I’d be career Army. I don’t know what to do now that I can’t do that.”

“Maybe you need to take the first step,” Squire said carefully. “Like what Pastor Scott was saying last week about forming our will to God’s.” They’d been to church a few times now. While he knew Pete might not have gone without the extra encouragement, he was attending and he didn’t put up a fight about it.

Pete harrumphed, but didn’t contradict Squire. “If I knew which step to take, Major, I’d take it.”

“Maybe God can help you with that too.”

“Maybe,” Pete said, his eyes roaming the skies like they’d have the answers. Squire watched them too, enjoying the time away from the business of the ranch, from his cell phone, from everything. He felt the most content out here, just him and his horse. He felt closer to God here than he did anywhere else.

He knew going to College Station and getting his medical degree was the right thing for him. Absolutely right. His parents were making arrangements for someone else to run and care for the ranch and homestead.

He could get money from the GI Bill or from working. 

The real sticking point was Kelly Armstrong and her cute son Finn. Maybe he needed to take his own advice and ask God what to do about Kelly.

He closed his eyes and prayed. Lord, help me see clearly. Help me to know what to say or do with Kelly Armstrong and her son, Finn, even if that means walking away from them.

His heart constricted painfully at the thought, but he had to trust that God would lead him where he needed to be, when he needed to be there, and with whom he should be with. After all, He’d led Kelly home. He’d allowed Squire a glimpse at how freeing forgiveness could be.

Help me—

The answer came as plain and strong as wind or lightning or daylight.

Trust Kelly.

Squire opened his eyes, his frown deepening. He did trust Kelly—just not with everything…yet.

* * *

With no progress happening in finding the missing money, Squire bid goodbye to Kelly on Friday afternoon, unable to tell her about his acceptance yet. 

The promise of finding the truth lingered just out of reach, and with every hour and every document they found, Squire held out hope that it would be “the one” that would solve all of his problems.

Then Kelly wouldn’t need to work. Of course she could come with him to College Station. They’d get married and everything in the world would be absolutely as it should be.

He trusted Kelly, but every time he considered telling her about his acceptance, his tongue swelled like a bloated fish. He couldn’t say anything, and the hours and days had slipped away like dust through his fingers.

He spent Saturday morning helping his mother weed the garden, and most of the afternoon with Pete in the stables. The horses calmed them both, and an idea formed in Squire’s mind.

“Why don’t you do something with horses?” he asked Pete. “You seem to like them, and they like you.”

“What am I gonna do with horses?” Pete asked.

“You’re really good with them,” Squire said. “You could learn to train them to cut. Train cattle horses. It’s pretty lucrative.”

Pete shook his head and then scattered the hay they’d been forking into one of the stalls. “I’m not a great rider,” he said. “I can train them to listen to me and walk in a circle.”

“Also useful,” Squire said. “Breaking horses. Or behavior rehabilitation.”

“Equine rehabilitation,” Pete echoed, looking longingly at Peony and Raven, the two mares who’d attached themselves to him. “Come on, let’s go get ready for this rodeo.”

When he arrived at Kelly’s house, he smoothed down his blue flannel shirt before ringing her doorbell. Finn answered, wearing his own button-down flannel, jeans, and a brand new pair of cowboy boots.

“We’re goin’ to the rodeo!” he announced, as if Squire didn’t know.

Squire knelt down to be eye-level with the boy. “Is Buster a good pup?”

“He’s the bestest,” Finn said. “My grampa is keepin’ him for me tonight. Buster likes my grampa.”

“That’s great,” Squire said. “Where’s your mom?” He looked over Finn’s shoulder, but there was no one in the living room. He could see into the kitchen, but she wasn’t there either.

“She’s downstairs,” Finn said, fitting his small hand into Squire’s. “Can I sit by you at the rodeo?”

“Sure thing, buddy.” Squire loved this kid, and a sharp pin pressed into his chest. He couldn’t leave Finn here for four years. He’d never felt so strongly about something in his life.

Kelly and Finn had to come with him to College Station. But how?

Trust Kelly.

She came up the steps, and Squire followed every move she made. She wore tight jeans paired with a sparkly navy top. She’d curled her hair and artfully painted her face. Her lips, pink as roses, glistened.

“Evenin’ ma’am,” he said, tipping his hat when he really wanted to tilt her back and kiss all that gloss off her lips.

“Evenin’, yourself,” she drawled. “I just need shoes….”

“Hurry up, Mom,” Finn said. “I don’t want to miss the ropes.”

Squire grinned at him as Kelly moved into the mudroom for her shoes. “The calf roping? I can show you how to do that, you know.”

“You can?” Finn looked at Squire like he’d just told him he could make it be Christmas every day.

“Sure,” Squire said. “You’ll have to come back out to the ranch, though. Think you can talk your mom into that?”

“Sure!” Finn said. “She goes there everyday. She’ll bring me.”

“Bring you where?” Kelly asked, returning to the living room wearing cowboy boots made for a rodeo. They were a bright white with red stitching, and with the blue top and the jeans, she made Squire’s mouth water.

“To the ranch!” Finn yelled. “Squire’s gonna show me how to rope.”

“Is he?” Kelly’s amused eyes met his. “I didn’t know Major Ackerman could rope.”

Squire laughed. “Major Ackerman has a lot of skills you don’t know about.” He offered her his elbow, and she slipped her hand into his arm.

“I can’t wait to see them all,” she said as they headed for the front door. Squire had never felt so complete, with Finn hanging on to his left hand and the woman of his dreams clinging to his right. He needed these two in his life all the time. Now he just had to figure out how to make that happen.