Second Chance Ranch Chapter 23

Chapter TWENTY-THREE:

The email came on a Wednesday morning, while Squire bit into a piece of toast.

Dear Major Ackerman,

We’re pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to the Doctorate of Veterinarian Medicine (DVM) program on the campus of Texas A&M in College Station, Texas.

The words blurred, black on white. Gray. Gray like a Texas thunderstorm.

Gray, like the area between right and wrong.

Gray, like the distance between Kelly and College Station.

He focused, almost hoping the words had changed. Denied him entrance. It would make some things easier and others harder.

Easy. Hard. Gray.

He leaned away from his laptop, trying to come up with a plan. He didn’t want to approach his parents—or Kelly—without a solution to the problems they shared.

For his parents, he needed to find the money. And then ask them to pay for his doctorate degree.

His stomach threatened to release the bit of bread he’d consumed. His parents wouldn’t need all of the missing money; they could afford to pay Squire’s tuition. With his GI Bill, he might not even have to work to pay for rent and utilities.

Kelly presented a whole new issue Squire still hadn’t been able to solve. He felt himself falling deeper and deeper in love with her. He closed his eyes, surprised that he’d admitted to himself such a thing.

He’d always had a soft spot for her. She’d been his first crush. The first to destroy him and resuscitate him. The first woman he’d forgiven. The one he’d forgive over and over to keep her in his life, even if she did lecture him sometimes.

Over the past two weeks, he had definitely started to fall in love with the Kelly Armstrong of now. How could he leave her here, even for a chance at the life and career he wanted here on the ranch?

Helplessness welled in his chest, pressed against his flopping heart. Could he ask her to come with him? Should he? They didn’t have to get married right away. She could get a job in College Station, find an apartment. They could date until she was ready, and he’d help with Finn so she wasn’t too stressed about moving away from family. He would be her family. 

“You got in to your DMV program.” Pete’s voice behind Squire reminded him that he no longer lived in his cabin alone.

His first instinct was to slam his laptop shut and tell Pete to mind his own business. But Chelsea’s accusation about him not trusting anyone echoed in Squire’s mind. He’d trusted Pete with his life. He could trust him with this too.

Thoughts of his sister tended to make him spiral, so Squire pulled back on them. She’d left town after one night in Amarillo, just like she’d planned. He’d been texting and calling her every day since, and she seemed okay.

Of course, he texted her every day now too, just to make sure she was okay. Even if she told him she was, he didn’t believe her. Chelsea had a tendency to blame herself, and her boyfriend had committed suicide. 

She definitely wasn’t okay, and she hadn’t given their parents an answer yet either. She had a life in Dallas, and one didn’t just walk away from their life, even when they wanted to. 

Squire had done it a couple of times to serve in the Army, and it had been hard when it was planned, when he had people supporting him and taking over for him while he was gone.

And they all knew he’d come back—or they hoped and prayed he would. If Chelsea left Dallas, she wouldn’t go back. She hadn’t been happy here either, and Squire bent his head and said a quick prayer for his sister. 

“Yeah,” Squire said, returning to the situation in his cabin. The email. Pete’s congratulations. He scrubbed the back of his neck as he looked at the email again. “You can’t tell anyone.”

Pete retreated to the kitchen nook and picked up a leftover muffin. “Why not? Major, this is good news.”

He heard Chelsea’s voice in his head, telling him to trust Kelly. To tell her, and to work out all the details together. But just like he hadn’t told his dad about the missing money, he couldn’t tell Kelly about the admittance. He didn’t want to hurt either one of them.

“I just don’t want anyone to know yet,” Squire said as he got to his feet and turned his back on his laptop and the email that should have him celebrating, but had sent him reeling instead. 

“I have some things I need to work out first.”

“Lady friend things?” Pete grinned as he pinched off a piece of muffin.

Squire saw no point in lying about that. “Yes.”

“And you don’t want your parents to know, because…?”

“They’ll tell Kelly.” Squire’s gut squirmed with the tiny fib. He didn’t lie to his men. They counted on him to be one hundred percent truthful with them. “I just need to figure some things out,” he said again. “Don’t tell anyone. That’s an order, Lieutenant.”

Pete saluted. “Yes, sir. I’m just glad I’m not the only one who has no idea what to do with their life.”

A pang of guilt stole through Squire. “Any headway on that front?”

“No,” Pete said. “But I’m happy here, just like you said I would be. I’ll figure it out.” Pete had a way of landing on his feet, always. He used to laugh about the way his momma had called him a feline growing up. He always landed on his feet, and he had nine lives.

Squire nodded before ducking into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He paused in front of his mirror. He didn’t look like a man keeping a secret. But he knew when confronted with his mother, she’d know something was up, the same way the horses always did.

He also had no idea what to do with his life, though he hadn’t told Pete that. In a lot of ways, the two men were exactly the same. Doing something in an interim, an in-between place where they didn’t really want to stay for very long. 

Squire wanted to come back to Three Rivers Ranch. He loved it here when his older sister didn’t. He simply didn’t want the role his father had.

“Father,” he whispered, thinking of God. “I need help here.” He did, but he didn’t know how to articulate much more than that. A plea for help seemed like enough, and plenty of pastors had told Squire over the years how the Lord knew him, knew what he wanted before he asked, knew what was coming his way.

So God already knew Squire would be reunited with Kelly and start to fall in love with her. He knew that Squire would get into Texas A&M and plan on leaving Three Rivers. 

“What do You know about the money? Hmm?” 

Unfortunately, his reflection in the mirror knew nothing about it, and Squire left the bathroom. Outside, on the front porch, he looked right toward the homestead. The white gravel path in front of the cabins sat empty, as it was still pretty early, and Momma would have breakfast at the homestead for whoever wanted it. 

Wednesday morning tradition.

He looked left, toward the administration building. Kelly wouldn’t be at work yet, but she’d be along soon. If he was lucky, not too many cowboys would be in the admin trailer for their daily assignments yet, and Squire went left.

He’d have to face his mother eventually, but not with the acceptance so fresh.

When we find the money, he promised himself. I’ll tell everyone everything when we find the money.

* * *

An hour later, he startled awake when his phone rang on his chest. He fumbled for it, saw his sister’s name, and swiped on the call. “Hullo,” he said in a voice that sounded like he’d just woken up.

“You’re not up?” Chelsea asked.

“I am.” Squire rolled off the couch in his office and to his knees on the floor. “I was up early, and I was just taking a catnap in my office.”

His sister started to laugh. And laugh and laugh.

“Come on,” he said crossly. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just the fact that you have an office.”

“Well, it’s Daddy’s,” Squire said. He was semi-surprised his father hadn’t come in yet, but he’d been working with Clark a lot out on the ranch since making him the foreman. 

A large part of it was desk work, but they’d come in once afternoon and the soaring temperatures hit. 

“I had to give up my office to Clark when he became foreman.”

“Yeah, talk to me about this,” Chelsea said.

Ah, so she wanted to know about his degree and why she needed to come take care of the homestead. Squire supposed the explanation had been brief, and he meandered over to his father’s window and looked out.

“I have a secret,” he said. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Who would I tell?” she asked.

“Momma,” he fired back. “Kelly.”

“We were best friends in high school,” she said. “But I haven’t actually talked to her much until a week or so ago.”

“So you’re talking to her,” he bit out. “I don’t want her to know until I’m ready to tell her.”

“I can do that,” Chelsea said.

Squire steeled himself and took a deep breath. He’d locked his father’s door when he’d gotten here, because then he wouldn’t be disturbed, and Daddy would have to find a key before he could get in, buying Squire enough time to get out.

“I got into my veterinary program at Texas A&M,” he said all in one breath. 

“Oh, that’s fantastic,” Chelsea said, genuine congratulations in her voice. “Wait. Why is this the secret?”

“Because.” Squire sighed. “There’s a…complication on the ranch I’m trying to solve. If I don’t, I can’t go.”

Chelsea let those words hang there, and Squire waited for the questions. He wasn’t telling more unless expressly asked. 

“And you don’t want to go, because you just started dating Kelly, and it feels too soon to ask her—and her kid—to move to College Station with you.”

Squire hung his head and closed his eyes. “Was there a question in there?”

“Oh, let me try that again,” Chelsea said sarcastically. “And you don’t want to go, because you just started dating Kelly, and it feels too soon to ask her—and her kid—to move to College Station with you?” She really pitched up her voice on the last two words, making it sound like a question with four question marks.

Squire smiled at his sister’s attitude. At least that hadn’t changed. Her happiness level had, though, and Squire’s grin faded quickly. 

“Yes,” he said simply. “That’s why I don’t want her to know. I don’t want Momma and Daddy to know until I’ve solved the problem on the ranch.”

“What’s the problem?”

“It’s a bookkeeping thing,” he said. “Hector was a nightmare.” He hadn’t lied. It was a bookkeeping thing. Hector’s filing system left a lot to be desired.

“But I got in, Chels. That means if I can solve this problem and I can make Kelly fall madly in love with me, I’ll be leaving the ranch in a couple of months.”

He turned away from the blue sky and brownish-green grass outside, the mess of tangled emotions inside him so different than the view in his eyes. “Momma and Daddy are building a condo in town for their retirement. I think Momma’s nuts; she’s gonna miss the cowboys out here so much. She doesn’t know how to cook for only two people.” 

His smile returned as he thought of their mother’s magnificent buffets of years past. Chelsea giggled. “She sure doesn’t.”

“But she can’t keep up with the yard work anymore. Daddy’s knee bothers him even on good days. They’re ready. It’s a ground-floor unit, and this is what they want.”

“So if you leave, and they leave….” 

“We need you,” Squire said. He lowered his head as he did his voice. “I know you’re not happy in Dallas, Chels. Come home to Three Rivers. There’s something soothing and healing here.”

“Yeah, it’s called driving an hour just to get milk,” she said dryly.

“It’s a good time to reflect,” Squire said. “Or pray.”

Chelsea didn’t scoff, but she might as well have. Squire knew she’d gone through some hard things in her life, and he knew she had her own path to walk when it came to her relationship with the Lord. Everyone did.

“Are you keeping your promise?” he asked.

“Yes,” she bit out. “I can’t stop thinking about moving there.”

“But?”

“But, Squire, I am not Momma. I can’t cook. I can’t keep a houseplant alive, for crying out loud. And they want me to take care of the house and the yard? It’s insane.”

“Everyone knows things are changing,” Squire said. “No one will expect you to make Sunday dinner.”

“Yes, they will,” she shot back. “They’ll just hide their disappointment behind their cabin doors.”

“Then cater it,” he said. “But I’m telling you, no one cares.”

Chelsea let several moments of silence go through the line. “Squire, if I come back, I want you there.”

He sighed, wishing he could take his sister in his arms and hold her until all the things that were hurt had healed. “I know, Sissy,” he murmured. “I miss you and love you too.”

Another pause, and when she finally spoke, her voice had gone nasally. “I should probably come back, right?”

“I can’t tell you that, Chels.” He wouldn’t even if he could. “You have to listen to your heart on this one.”

“Yeah.” She sniffled. “Okay, I miss you and love you, Baby Brother.”

His heart tore and bled for his sister. “Call Momma and talk it over with her,” he said. “She’s really great about this stuff, I swear.”

“Then why won’t you tell her about your vet acceptance?” Chelsea challenge, and Squire didn’t really have an answer. 

So he just said, “It’s complicated. I’ll talk to you soon,” and hung up. Once alone again, he added, “Dear Lord, help me find this money.” 

Then he wouldn’t have to keep secrets from those he loved.