Second Chance Ranch Chapter 12

Chapter TWELVE:

Squire took his time returning from Sheppard Air Force Base on Monday. Anxious as he was to find the missing documents and, yes, to see Kelly again, he felt the need to delay the reunion. She’d texted on Friday afternoon, another welcome apology.

He’d ignored her.

He wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he was simply hurt. Maybe he wanted her to feel what it was like to be overlooked, forgotten, ignored. She’d spoken true about his desire to be the ranch’s veterinarian, not its owner. But during his physical therapy and doctor’s appointments, another idea had hatched in his mind.

Maybe he could be both. Maybe everything wasn’t quite so black and white.

With a new prospect bouncing around in his brain, he drove slowly, knowing that the first stop he’d make when he returned to the ranch would be Kelly’s office.

By the time he’d made the four-hour drive, it was an hour past lunch. His mother had the boys working in her garden, so Squire knew the administration building would be quiet.

Against his will, his nerves stood at attention. His pulse quickened, and he suddenly needed to turn up the air conditioning in his old truck. Trying to ease his jitters, he looked at himself in the rear-view mirror.

“She already likes you,” he muttered to his reflection. He let the door to the building slam closed, even though it sent a full-body shiver racing through him. Pressing the memories back, he approached her office with loud footsteps so she’d know he was coming.

She sat at her desk, leaning forward as she peered at something on her computer screen. His tension fled at the sight of her. Her hair wisped from its low ponytail, like she’d been outside in the Texas wind. She wore a black and white polka dot sheer top with a black tank top underneath. He stared for too long, but he couldn’t make himself look away.

“Afternoon, darlin’,” he said.

She startled but didn’t look at him. “Is it really afternoon?” She glanced at her watch. “I haven’t eaten yet.”

“Perfect timing, then.” He gestured to the chair he normally occupied. She’d placed a large stack of folders on it. “Mind if I come in?”

In answer, she hurried around her desk, doing everything she could not to make eye contact with him, and removed the files.

Squire sat down, suppressing a sigh of relief. “Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, darlin’.” Regret laced his words. He knew better than anyone how deep a wound like that could go.

“It’s fine,” she said. “Your mom said you go to the base for physical therapy. I figured you didn’t have service.”

“I had great service,” he said, finally drawing her full attention. “Ah, there you are. I was afraid you were going to ignore me the whole afternoon.” He gave her a quick smile, but she simply blinked at him.

“You got my message, and just, what? Ignored it?” A fire entered her eyes, spurring Squire to apologize again.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said,” he continued. “And I wasn’t sure how to respond, and I’m sorry.”

She nodded her acceptance. “What did I say that you were thinking about?”

“The part where you suggested I finish veterinarian school.”

She’d completely abandoned her work and pulled out a paper sack. She broke her sandwich in half and offered it to him. He waved her away, a grin on his face. His mother made a feast during planting week. Kelly’s PB&J wasn’t worth eating compared to the beef ribs and potato salad he hoped would be waiting for him at the house.

“And?” she prompted.

“And nothing. I’ve just been thinking about what you said.”

“No conclusions?”

“Not yet.” A fib, but she still looked like she might run screaming from the room if he said the wrong thing.

She scanned him, the edges around her eyes softening. “You’re still in uniform.” Her gaze met his, and she swallowed hard, like the peanut butter had stuck in her throat. “And you’ve shaved.”

“Thanks for noticing.” A string of attraction threaded through him when she blushed. He stood, flinging his arms wide as he spun in a slow circle. “So now you’ve seen me in my uniform. Swoon-worthy?”

He chuckled as he sat down. “Don’t answer that, okay? I don’t think I can take another rejection from you.” From the redness in her cheeks, he wasn’t sure he’d get one.

“Squire, I—” She pressed her eyes closed for two heartbeats before opening them again. “I’ve been thinking a lot this weekend too. I’m really sorry about pushing you about the ranch. It’s honestly none of my business. I crossed a professional line, because, I don’t know, I knew you growing up?” She huffed out her breath. “I don’t know. But it wasn’t my place to say anything, and it won’t happen again.”

He studied her as she took a bite of her apple, her eyes dancing away from his again. “We’re friends, right?” he asked.

“Sure.” She nodded, and relief shot through him. He had very few people he counted as true friends, people he could trust no matter what. He wanted Kelly to be one of them.

He leaned forward and placed his elbows on her desk. “Then it’s okay for you to talk to me about personal things. That’s what friends do.” He pinched off a bite of her sandwich. “I’d like the lectures to be toned down. I don’t need another mother.”

Her face blanched before a slow smile spread her lips. “Fair enough. But then you better start being level with me about what you thought about this weekend.” She pointed her finger at him. “I can tell you’re not saying everything.”

“Lecturing.” He chuckled, and it felt right to be sitting here with her, talking, with the knowledge that he couldn’t get much past her.

“I had a thought, and it’s kind of crazy, but I wonder what you think.” He tried to quiet his nerves by crossing his arms tightly, like he could keep the storm inside that way. “What if I could finish school and run the ranch? I mean, obviously not at the same time. But I could hire a foreman while I finish veterinary school. Then I could come back and run the ranch, with my primary job as taking care of the animals.” He watched her for any sign of emotion, approval, something. She gave nothing away.

“It’s only four years. Dad could still retire. He and Mom could still move into town. The foreman could live in our basement, take care of the house, the ranch, everything. Then, when I’m done, I come back and take over from there.” He pressed his arms tighter, the thunderclouds grew bigger, waiting for her reaction.

Her face lit up, making her more beautiful than ever. “That sounds like an ingenious plan. And you could still have a clinic in Three Rivers. Something you operate on an emergency basis, or a couple of days a week.”

“Working with the animals on the ranch will definitely keep me busy enough. But it’s something to think about.”

She tapped a pen against her desktop, finished her lunch, and finally looked at him again. “So, will you say something to your dad?”

“Yes, I’m going to talk to my parents today.” He stood, feeling lighter and freer than he had in months—since Hector had died. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We’ll get back to all these files.”

“Squire.” She stood too. “Where would you go to school?”

“The only program for a doctorate in veterinary medicine is at Texas A&M.”

Eight hours away, he thought, but didn’t say. She heard the distance that would be between them, though neither one of them acknowledged it. By the turmoil in her eyes, she didn’t even know how she felt.

He wanted to comfort her. But he didn’t know if things would work out, with them, with the ranch, with anything. So he simply left her office, rehearsing the speech for his parents.

* * *

Squire strolled from the administration building to the house, words tripping around in his head.

Help me find the right thing to say, he prayed as he approached the homestead. Bless my father with an open mind.

He found his mother in the garden. Unfortunately, at least a dozen cowhands worked nearby, all within earshot. He didn’t want to lay out his soul in front of Ethan, Tom, Beau, Beckett, or any of the other men nearby. 

He liked them all just fine. They treated him with respect and even kindness. He wasn’t much older than Beau and Beckett, but he felt a decade past them. Maybe it was his military service, or maybe it was because they’d spent every weekend this summer in town, at the summer dances, looking for a girlfriend, and Squire could never imagine himself doing that.

Ethan was a former rodeo champion, and Squire doubted he even needed this job. Tom was the quietest of the men nearest his mother, and Squire liked him a whole lot. 

Even Clark worked down at the other end of the garden, with Lawrence, Kenny, and a couple of summer-only workers: Henry and Ryan. They lived next door to Squire, and they never played loud music or even made a peep, probably because they were hoping to be brought on as full-time cowboys once the harvest ended.

“Hey, Ma.” Squire stepped next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

“You’re back.” She peered up at him, a smile on her face, as she yanked on some noxious weed. “What did the doctors say?”

“Still healing.” His pulse suddenly went into overdrive. He had so many words, and they were all suddenly fighting to come out. “Where’s Dad?”

His mom didn’t look away from him as she straightened. “What’s on your mind, son?”

“I don’t want the ranch,” he blurted. He took a deep breath. “Right now,” he said. “I want to finish my veterinarian degree, and then come back and work with the animals.”

Somehow, his dad knew he’d just said something important, because he appeared next to his mom. “What’s going on?” He looked between Squire and his wife, his eyebrows drawing down. Thankfully, he shielded Squire’s view of the nearest-working cowboy, who happened to be Ethan.

Squire half-hoped his mom would convey the message to his dad. But he knew she wouldn’t. She raised her eyebrows and gestured to his dad.

He swallowed, reaching deep down for his well of courage. He never wanted to disappoint his father. He’d taken over this ranch in his early thirties, and he’d dedicated his entire life to it. He simply wasn’t sure if running the ranch was what his life should become.

Squire loved being a cowboy. He loved horses and animals and the wide open sky that couldn’t be found anywhere but here in Texas. He’d loved growing up here at Three Rivers Ranch—maybe not the drive sometimes, when his parents wouldn’t relax their curfew to adjust for the forty-five minutes it took to get anywhere.

But….

He met his father’s eyes, all of these things running through his mind at the same time. 

“Dad, I don’t want to run the ranch right now. I want to finish my veterinarian degree. Then I’ll come back as the official veterinarian on-staff.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and focused on the dirt at his feet. “I still have time to apply for this fall’s program. It’s four years. In College Station.” He reminded himself to breathe, to speak slower. “I’ll hire a foreman before I go. I know you want to retire.”

His father stood there, staring at Squire. His gaze weighed so much that Squire had to look up and into his father’s face. He blinked once, twice. Stared some more. Squire knew he was processing. He never reacted immediately, instead absorbing and trying to understand. It was something about his dad that Squire loved the most. He’d learned to behave the same way, though he hadn’t had as much practice.

His dad glanced at his mom. She nodded, somehow completing a conversation they’d either had previously or didn’t need to have.

“Okay,” his father said.

The rubber band around Squire’s chest snapped, the release sweet and freeing. “We should see if Clark wants to give up his desk job in favor of taking on the ranch.” He tried to see past the united front of his momma and daddy, but they stood shoulder to shoulder, and Clark was likely bent over, weeding.

“Clark?” his dad asked.

“He would be ready to retire in four years,” his mom said as she tugged on her gloves, reseating them all the way down her fingers. “He’s a great choice, Frank.”

Squire hadn’t considered what the foreman would do once he returned, but Clark would be ready to retire in four years. Everything seemed to be falling into place to allow him to return to school.

Squire wanted to shout, to laugh, to dance like no one was watching. This level of happiness hadn’t been present in his life since the attack on his tank.

He glimpsed a version of himself he’d been then. Hopeful for the future. A man with dreams that could come true. Someone who could feel joy.

His father nodded to his mother and refocused on Squire. “We’ll talk some more about it tomorrow, okay? First thing, and then we’ll go from there.”

“Thanks, Daddy.” Squire didn’t hug his father all the time, but now, he stepped into his dad and held on tightly. 

“You’re a good man.” His father hugged him so hard Squire thought his ribs might snap, and he closed his eyes and relished the words his daddy had spoken.

His momma had given out plenty of praise over the years, but Frank Ackerman had always been a little more stoic. Less verbal. More judicious in what he chose to say.

He’d taught Squire everything he knew about horses and cattle, given him his love of dogs and horseback riding and this great country, and he’d always been the most solid place Squire knew.

He stepped back and nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I’m gonna go shower and then see what’s going on with my horses.”

His parents each smiled, and Squire took that as his cue to head away from the weed-fest happening in front of him. He’d be lucky if his mother didn’t have someone text him to come help soon enough, but for now, she let him go.

As he headed to his cabin for a shower, his steps landed lighter, the air entered his lungs easier, the sun illuminated his life.

A life free from an old hurt. A life without resentment.

A life he wanted.